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When Love Isn't Returned To Us

When Love Isn't Returned To Us

*I'm not a doctor or therapist, this article is the culmination of interviews, books, and personal things I went through. 

What is an Unhealthy Obsession with a Person?

An unhealthy obsession with a person can take many forms, but it is generally characterized by an intense preoccupation with someone that has not shown the same feelings and you do,  know this by their inactions towards you. You are constantly checking their social media accounts, or excessively thinking about them.

In some cases, an unhealthy obsession can even lead to harassment or other inappropriate behavior, by that I mean they don't really want anything to do with you but you keep coming around them, maybe asking them out when they keep saying no.

What Causes an Unhealthy Obsession with a Person?

 It can also be related to past experiences of rejection or abandonment, which can make a person more susceptible to developing unhealthy attachment patterns.

Additionally, Movies, TV shows, and books often romanticize stalking or obsessive behavior, which can lead to people believing that it is a normal or even desirable way to express love, Have you seen interviews where someone pursued their mate for months, being asked out multiple time with the answer being no? In some cases it's make believe, nobody wants to be stalked by anyone they are not either interested in or find attractive to be more blunt.

How Can Overcome an Unhealthy Obsession with a Person?

 Here are some steps I've heard  and read about that you can take to start moving forward:

  • Acknowledge the problem: The first step in overcoming an unhealthy obsession is to recognize that it is a problem. This may involve seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.
  • Identify triggers: Understanding what triggers your obsessive thoughts or behavior can help you better manage them. For example, if seeing a certain type of post on social media triggers your behavior, you can take steps to limit your exposure to that content, unfollow them is a step to take, or let's be more honest , block them. 
  • Focus on self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with an unhealthy obsession. This can include engaging in activities that you enjoy, getting enough sleep, and practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga, There a few self help guru's to follow, check them out, I like Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins or Jack Canfield.
  • Seek support: Having a support system can be crucial when dealing with an unhealthy obsession. This can include friends, family, or a support group, the main thing be around people who love and care for you, once around them sooner than later you will feel better and realize there are other people out there who will love you for who you really are.
  • Having healthy habits: Maybe journaling, exercising, going out and enjoy a good walk, checking out area's in your city you haven't seen before, don't stay home.   
    1. Never feel bad about yourself, sometimes some people don't see our value, it's their loss, think of it that way, believe me it works, and move on. 

    My final 2 cents worth of advice

     If you find yourself struggling with someone you care about and can't stop thinking about them, know that you are not alone, ......

    I couldn't date anyone for about 6 months or so when I was in my 20''s because I couldn't get over this woman I was so in love with, always thinking about her and she went about her life like I didn't exist, but, With the help of my friends and believe it or not, watching sports and playing it myself, I was able to overcome it and you can as well, Now if you don't play sports, that's ok, I'm stating what worked for me, main thing, keep active!

         Don't think you are the only one who was in love with someone and the feeling wasn't           mutual, Fortunately for us, there are other people like our friends who do love us, and sometimes that's enough to keep going. 

Keep the momentum of positivity going, Good things will happen. 

Thanks for reading

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